For most of last week, I had this vaguely embarrassed, staggering around incompetently feeling. I think it was in part because I was still getting over writing my annual report, reading my bad evals from last year. And I think teaching face to face makes me have that flop-sweat feeling more than teaching online, because I have to get up in front of an audience. No delete and re-record on the face to face lectures. Plus this semester, I have to do that twice a week. On Wednesday even though most of the class went fine, I found myself unable to effectively explain image metadata creation to one of the students. Of course, it was at the end of class, and dammit, those two and a half hour classes are too damn long, especially when they go until 4:00 PM, a.k.a. the time of day when my brain generally shuts down.
On Tuesday I walked home under boiling clouds.
Wednesday was International Women’s Day, this year supposed to be a women’s strike, day without women. I didn’t strike.
I made dinner for the WASB kids – leftover red beans & rice, a big casserole of broccoli & cauliflower cheese, and coleslaw. Whole wheat baguette. Cranberry bars and ice cream and fudge sauce for dessert. But even though I was happy with the food, the evening contributed to my general sense of embarrassment. I did a probably 10-minute , uncomfortable, account of my checkered youth, 3 colleges to get my BA in art history, failed grad school attempt, and finally earning the library MA after 10 years in restaurants. Not what these kids with study abroad plans and career goals wanted to hear. My messy life.
Thursday was class and then a meeting and then home and shoulda made dinner, but I just ate junk and made Mark & Belana order a pizza.
Friday I had a bunch of advising appointments and a haircut, and then a single girl night at home – Mark took Belana to Chicago so that she could get her flight to Hawaii. She’s on one of the Belo trips that AFS arranges.
Sunday since it was just us two I made scones and bacon and fruit salad in lieu of a big brunch.
This week is off to a fun start too – spring ahead daylight savings and 3-5 inches of snow. Spring blizzard snow – not light and fluffy, wet, small flakes, almost mist, and windy and drift-y. Sticks to the shovel.
I stooped down to photograph this toy lawnmower in the snow, and almost tipped over. So much for feeling capable again.