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Feeling like I’m becoming invisible

June 5, 2017 by ds83473@gmail.com

I think it’s a natural thing that as you age, you start feeling like you’re no longer “at the pulse of it all” like Arthur Kane, as Robyn Hitchcock sings in N.Y. Doll.

This weekend, somehow, I felt worse than that – like I’m becoming invisible. Probably much of my malaise is related to the fact that I’m no longer doing my dining club. I’m not inviting people to meals and events, planning menus, cooking for large groups – except when I go help with the pantry breakfasts at Goodman. I haven’t managed to do much at my house either. I tried a dinner series last spring make that 2015 spring – sheesh – and cancelled them all for low enrollment. But hmm, those menus do look good, don’t they?

I’ve got my sewing room sort of set up, but I’m not doing much in the way of new non-food creative work, either, after my one foray in March (which is still hanging in my office, so makes me feel a little better).

Over the weekend, I kept hearing about cool events and art shows that I had had nothing to do with … I even attended some. I think it’s extra hard for those of us who are firmly in the Baby Boom generation, because we were made such a big deal of – there were so many of us, we could feel important, trend setters. In 2004, I sort of organized a show in the same space, or next door, really, to where Forge is going to be. We had a Survival Graphics reunion, at the UN-re-modeled Ironworks, before John Martens finally sold it and it became Goodman Community Center. We had a party and an informal show that was up for a week or two. I made a digital archive of it, but lost it when we changed ISPs from TDS to AT&T. Maybe there’s some stuff on my home computer ….

The best thing I can think of to do is post a bunch of pictures, so here’re highlights since last Thursday or so. What we’ve got here is: an iris from my walk home last Thursday; a PBJ slider (leftover bun from Memorial Day; asparagus salad from (I think) Wednesday dinner with Rach; a peony from the same walk home; a peony as iPhone wallpaper – also posted more on Instagram; looking out from the upstairs meeting hall at Madison Public Library on Friday night; Mark’s cat on Saturday afternoon; my knee and an old patchwork I made in the ’80s, above the cat, also on Saturday; the necklace I plan to wear to Al & Emma’s wedding with my grey lace mother-of-the-groom dress; quick cimmy bun coffeecake made as an upside down cake, with a layer of rhubarb under the frosting; peach melba yogurt on Monday; and somehow there were fewer colorful flowers in this random assortment than I thought there’d be, to make me feel less invisible, so I added the daisies that popped out at me on my Tuesday walk.

[portfolio_slideshow pagerpos=disabled size=”full”]

And, in the spirit of less-invisible, I sent in a cookbook pitch last night – so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Posted in: Blog post Tagged: aging, brunch, cats, memory, spring flowers
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